The Good Shepherd

sheep

I don’t have it all together. I never said I did. I pretended for a long time. I am not pretending anymore. I need Jesus more than I have ever needed Him before. Constantly, in every circumstance, in every moment. I am finally starting to understand the truth behind Jesus’ words in John 15:5 (NIV), “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.”

Disconnected from Him, I quickly wither away. I faint. I fail. I am lost like a sheep without a shepherd. Without Him, even the simplest of setbacks or trials make me fold up into a broken man in desperate need. This is really hard. I feel like I am about to fall apart. Another round of weeping is just around the corner. People who “know” me at work or casually have marveled in the past at my ability to remain calm under pressure, to endure lots of stress or hardship, but it has all caught up to me. My strength is gone. My ability is failing. My emotions are all coming out. I need some comfort from the Comforter.

“You need to rest in my presence. Rest in my truth. Trust me. I am with you. I am for you. My love never fails. My comfort for you is complete. My words are true. I speak to you tenderly. I am the Good Shepherd. I will care for you and all your needs, son.”

This is what it looks like for me to follow Jesus. This is how I get through the day. It is not easy. No one promised me it would be. I am taking things one day at a time. Prayers are appreciated.

– Jason

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11 comments

  1. Amen, Jason.
    I start my day and several times through the day I have to send up a simple prayer “Stay with me Jesus.” I know that I couldn’t get through this life without him. His love is a life line; it never fails, however being human I think we all have those moments where this life gets to us and we have to essentially let the emotions out. Writing out my emotions helps me as does allowing myself to acknowledge my hurt and pain. I have found that acknowledging my emotions has helped me to move forward. Anger, sadness, despair are those emotions that get bottled up in us and make us sick, I think. I have found that talking out my emotions with an objective person has helped me a lot in the past. My pastor years ago helped me immensely when I was going through an issue which has since been resolved. She listened to me. Simply listened and acknowledged my pain. She reminded me that God is always with me no matter how far away I felt from Him. Life is a journey. With Jesus, we will get through it. He is our light and our salvation. Stay strong in Our Lord, Jason, and know that I am praying for you daily.

    Liked by 2 people

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