“We must be willing to give up the life we’ve planned, so we can live the life that’s waiting for us.” – Joseph Campbell
I love this quote.
Going through and now dealing with the effects of my recent divorce, I’ve found that a major part of the grieving process for divorce, and likely other forms of grief such as death of a partner, death of a child, losing touch with a family member or friend, etc. is letting go of the “dream” of that relationship. It is putting aside your hopes and desires that now go unfulfilled and were disappointed by the ending of the relationship.
No one gets married thinking that their relationship will end. They go into it with high expectations and thoughts of grandeur about how much their life will now be enhanced. They see things that they never could quite reach coming into view through this person, this relationship. The reality is that a relationship depends on two people who come together with their own unique flaws and problems. Sometimes things don’t work out.
No matter how loyal you are to that person. No matter how many times you’ve forgiven one another. No matter what promises to change have been made. None of those things guarantee that the next day that same person will choose to stay with you. None of those things will guarantee that person will still be there when you wake up the next day.
Life is fragile. Relationships don’t always work out. People change.
All of these overused clichés are still true, despite the countless times they’ve been recycled.
I am slowly starting to realize and understand that life does go on.
I am learning to forgive and let go every day, every moment if I have to. I am looking forward to the rest of my life. I am thankful for all that I do have. I am not guaranteed more time with my loved ones than the time I spend with them right now so I choose to engage and to be present as best as I can with them.
No matter what I face going forward, I am ready for it. I embrace my future. There is so much more adventure still to come.
Onward and upward!